​​Maternity, moods and lost sexual desire.

If you're a new mom (or on your third!) and you're dealing with unstable moods or low libido, you're not alone. Unfortunately, this is a trend that is growing more and more. In consultation I hear:

“I have no energy, no sex drive, and I can't lose weight!”

“I'm trying to pretend, but inside I feel MISERABLE! I'm not in the mood at all…”

“My baby is 8 months old and I still have no sexual desire. Is it lactation? What can I do?

Ladies, I hear you and I understand you! Many experience the postpartum change and how their hormones evolve and change with this great transformation. After years of helping other women overcome decreased sexual desire, mood swings (which very commonly start after childbearing) I can say that it really works!

The way to get your sex drive back is through sugar, but not the way you think! Right now, I know you might be turning to foods that are high in sugar or simple carbohydrates to boost your energy, stay awake and alive, and even just to feel comfortable. But not that kind of sugar, no.

What I really mean by "sugar" is that you can improve your sex drive by 50-75% within 2 months by making sure your blood sugar stays stable throughout the day by following the recommendations below :

Maternity and Nutrition:

Before we talk about boosting your sex drive and balancing your mood, let's talk about why all this is happening in the first place, why exactly you have these worries and complaints about how you feel as a mom.

When you're pregnant, your body is primarily concerned with providing essential nutrients to your growing baby. If your diet isn't adequate during that time, you may not be fully stocked with all the essential nutrients you need, beyond what your baby needs.

As you breastfeed after the baby is born, nutrients continue to leave your body if your diet doesn't replenish them quickly enough. They all go to the baby, which doesn't leave enough for you to feel good about. Therefore, I strongly recommend that you first and foremost work on your diet. Not only will it keep your cycle regular, but it will also protect your bones, your mood, your sex drive and make perimenopause progress slowly. Basically, focus on eating correctly and in sufficient quantity to address your symptoms in the short term and will benefit your health goals in the long term.

Synthetic hormones, like the hormonal contraceptives often offered to women after childbirth to prevent pregnancy and mask the symptoms of hormonal imbalance, won't reset you, they won't cure the underlying cause of your problems, but science shows that food will! First, you must stabilize your blood sugar level throughout the day. Eating between meals just won't do. It is essential to give priority to a maximum of 3 main meals, well balanced with protein and a good source of fat.

I have the example of a patient who increased her metabolism after childbirth, (losing 60 pounds) in 6 months with this diet that would look like this:

Breakfast: 2 to 4 scrambled eggs in coconut oil with turmeric and avocado

Lunch – Salmon with lentils and fermented sauerkraut and salad

Dessert: 2 dates or dried figs with 3 squares of dark chocolate

Dinner: Chicken/lamb/beef with green beans and baked sweet potato and salad.

In addition to changing how and what you eat, I encourage you to do the following: After eating anything, walk around the block once or twice, or go up and down the stairs for 5 minutes after a meal. This will turn OFF the fat storage program in your body and start using calories for fuel. Reducing body fat will absolutely help reduce estrogen dominance issues that contribute to your low libido.

Motherhood and moods

Here's another reason why nutrient-dense foods are essential postpartum: You need to give your brain the building blocks for mood-stabilizing neurotransmitters to be in order. Protein, complex carbohydrates, and good fats are essential, as are calcium, magnesium, B vitamins, and Omega 3s that are safe to take while breastfeeding. While clinical postpartum depression can be a real problem for some women who require medical treatment, there are mood swings on a spectrum that affect even more women, including mild postpartum depression and anxiety. Focusing on food and getting the necessary micronutrients into your body will help prevent many of the most common mood swings that occur postpartum for most women. Of course, other factors can compound: poor sleep, lack of childcare support, job demands, etc., but you'll be better prepared to deal with these challenges if you have a solid food foundation. I like to call this approach "active recovery": instead of assuming and hoping your body will heal itself, help it. Don't see it as an added responsibility, see it as something you're doing to take care of yourself.

Maternity and sexual desire

The sex drive is complex in women, but it can be broken down into elements: First there's the hormonal component: the estrogen/progesterone/testosterone mix, and then there's the adrenal component. Both items can be improved with food and some supplements.

To get started, follow these recommendations:

Start taking a daily B-complex vitamin and vitamin C, both of which help heal the adrenal glands.

Try to eat (organic) eggs a few times a week - the yolk helps to increase progesterone levels naturally and this can offset higher estrogen levels which can make you feel cranky.

The other issue, of course, is the reality of motherhood, the stress of your time, the free space in your mind, and your own relationship with your changed body.

I would definitely recommend one session a week of self-pleasure (no vibrators!) – give yourself 20 minutes to feel a pleasurable touch as it increases oxytocin and nitric oxide levels, which can help you get your libido back on track. Remember to eat super nutrient-dense foods and spend some time with yourself and you'll be kickstarting your sex drive in no time.

Everything is fine.

Everything is conspiring for your highest good.

Only good things come your way.

You're sure.

You are loved.

Always remember that once you have the right information about how your body really works, you can start making health decisions that will ultimately start to work for you.